I’m sitting on the couch eating cherries and trying to remember myself. It’s quiet, and there’s a comforting, soft rhythm to the rise and fall of Luna’s sleeping form next to me. I just remembered to relax my shoulders and the difference is a revelation.
Yesterday, I walked past a Radio Shack and was about to tell TJ that I can’t believe those stores still exist, when I saw the giant CLOSING sign. We walked in and I found a phone case for $3. I’ve been playing Russian roulette with a case-less phone for a while now, and let me tell you that’s the kind of dangerous living that would keep a suitor from bringing you home to his mama. Then this morning, Charlee vomited all over my phone (carsick, nothing worse🙌🏼), and I was like THANK GOD FOR THIS $3 PHONE CASE. It was just in the nick of time, see, and I know there are a thousand things more important than what we plug in, but it’s nice to know there’s a plan that involves the very details of our lives and if the small things matter, then how much more so the big things? .
Also, this photo. Charlee is two and passionate and strong-willed and asks me for five different things every five minutes and laughs loudly and cries loudly, too. She is a force and I love her and every day I try to teach her that whining is not an option and sugar isn’t something we eat for breakfast. And then TJ is the best thing that has happened to me on this earth and I have a hard time explaining how this past difficult month of March has me loving him more. It’s just that when I’m afraid, he is unafraid; and when I need help, he calls in the cavalry. When I first met him, I thought he was cool and interesting and different from any guy I’d loved before. I didn’t know he’d take my hand and walk into the fire with me, not fearing the heat, but craving what it does to the finest medals. That we’d keep walking together, keep seeking some kind of purification together; that we’d be more than okay together, a wildflower that stubbornly makes its way through the cracked city concrete underneath a thousand feet, growing and thriving over and over again, answering the relentless call of spring.
Good night, friends; my heart is full tonight.