I’m either a convict with an electric anklet ID, or I’m back in the hospital.
(Or I suppose there’s always a chance that I’m both.)
(Okay, so I’m *just* back in the hospital and my anklet ID is not electric, but rather a way for the nurses and doctors to know that, “Yes, you are who you claim to be, so let’s draw some more blood!” *Now sing I JUST WANNA DRAW SOME BLOOD/DRAW SOME BLOOD/DRAW SOME BLOOD to the tune of Ingrid Michaelson’s Be Okay; it’s a real fun hospital diddy guaranteed to lift your spirits like THAT.)
By Saturday night, the pain was rushing back, outnumbering my ability to cope by a long shot. So by Sunday, TJ brought me here so I could writhe uncomfortably in a chair at the ER instead of writhing uncomfortably in our bed at home. They gave me two rounds of morphine and it didn’t touch the pain, so finally they gave me something that routinely puts morphine down as being weak and it worked. It worked so well, that I was like, “Listen, I’ve already had TJ’s baby, but if you like, I can have your baby, too. I mean, really, it’s the very least I can do considering the way you’re making me feel.”
I got a CT scan and that’s when the doctors decided to perform another operation (I JUST WANNA OPERATE/OPERATE/OPERATE..by now you know the tune…thanks, Ingrid, for the endless amounts of fun this morning). That went well, and I will gloss over what and how much they took out of me.
I now have two drains on my body–one in my mouth and one through my mouth under my chin, so get ready for a steady flow of gorgeous selfies coming your way from this girl right here. Also, if I was in a marvel comic book, I’d be Drain Girl and you would be very, very afraid.
I’m getting a lot of good stuff through an IV and they even gave me broth last night, a nice departure from the “nothing, not even water” diet all day Sunday, and even the “okay, now you can have water but that’s it” Monday diet.
The big guns arrived yesterday (aka my mom), and the doctors will be doing something called advancing my drains today. I asked if it hurt, and they said not much, so we’ll see. And advancing my drains does kind of sound like a promotion, so that’s cool.
So there you go. Happy Tuesday and I’m pretty sure I haven’t rested this much since Charlee was born.