The good news is I made a whole carrot cake and it’s delicious. The bad news is I made a whole carrot cake and it’s delicious and IT’S HERE. Like, with nothing to do but be eaten. We should give carrot cakes jobs, so that they’re busy and we’re distracted from stuffing our mouths with them.
The good news is somebody sent me to get a massage last week. The bad news is I drank too much water on the way to getting that massage and so, halfway through, had to, you know, go. I eventually excused myself, but not without first wasting too many precious minutes just trying to will my bladder to SHUT UP ALREADY.
The good news is I went home last week for a visit! The bad news is I don’t get to go home this week for a visit. And the people at home are currently all high-five-ing each other AT THE BEACH.
The good news is that, suddenly, now when I walk through my lobby holding an adorable puppy, the doorman is wreathed in smiles, can’t open the door fast enough for me, can’t make enough eye contact, and, hello, greet me. The bad news is, when I am without the adorable puppy, the doorman is back to his stony faced self and it’s like all the progress we had made in the presence of Luna never even happened. I call this the Luna factor. Seriously, if everyone in the world were forced to conduct their lives in the presence of an adorable puppy, I am pretty sure the crime rate would be a lot lower and Bin Laden wouldn’t have even been a problem. For, how can one plot terrorist acts of doom and destruction when there are puppies at hand?!
The good news is I got booked to play the Outside the Box Festival here in Boston next month. The bad news is it’s on the 20th–I am playing the 18th and 19th in DE and the 24th in NYC, and now I have to be back in Boston in between all that. Hello, E-Z pass.
The good news is I now have a small, furry animal who wants to be by my side ALL THE TIME. The bad news is I physically cannot be by her side at all hours of the day and night, so sometimes this little girl cries. And have you ever heard a puppy cry? It breaks my heart and pulls on every single co-dependent heart string within me. I just have to keep telling myself that it’s for everyone’s good–her crying it out–and that it’s even good for her.
The good news is I got an amazing new looping pedal for my birthday. The bad news is it’s, like, the hardest, most frustrating thing I feel I’ve ever attempted. And guys, this includes that mess I lived through three years ago. It also includes that time my cilia just died on me when I was three years old, earning me a one-way trip to the Children’s Hospital. Oh, and there’s more good news here (there usually is, by the way): my cilia is no longer dead!
The good news is I have a puppy and she has me.
Now don’t mind me if I end on a positive note!