My good friend called me the other day. We talked about everything and nothing and, after a while, my soul got to feeling the way your belly feels after a delicious meal. You know, nice and full.
But something stuck with me from our conversation. The best and worst words will do that, you know. They’re just so sticky. Extra motivation to make them the best, then, since they’ll be around for a while.
“I feel really terrible about something,” my friend told me with the air of a confession.
“My mom just gave me a lot of money–I mean, a lot, Jess.”
“Well, I am assuming you needed it?”
“Yeah, it’s helped me immensely–opened up some great doors for where I need to be right now,” she told me.
“Well, awesome. What a kind and generous gift!”
“No–it’s just too much! I mean, my mom should have that money in a bank or somewhere else–somewhere properly invested.”
“First of all, knowing you, you will pay it back as soon as you can, and second of all, knowing your mom, she sees this as one of the best investments she can make: in her KID.”
“But she doesn’t get anything from it!” my friend blurted out, exasperated.
Which is when it dawned on me.
“Say that again,” I told me friend.
“What? That my mom doesn’t get anything out of this?” she asked.
“Right. Oh man, don’t you see? THAT’S love. Plain and simple,” I finally said.
“But I don’t deserve it,” my friend stated, quieter now, all the fight having left her voice.
“None of us do, really,” I said slowly, letting the words sink into my heart, too. “Love is a straight arrow. There’s no catch or hook in it–no boomerang effect, when it’s pure. It’s solely about the other person–about their wholeness and what’s best for them. And you’re right–none of us deserve love. Not when we mess up and don’t love perfectly, ourselves. But accept that love. Let it motivate you to LIVE the kind of life that is worthy of that love–or at least try your best to. That’s love. We don’t deserve it, I think, but it makes us live better as we try to live up to it. Be the kid who is loved by her mom thoroughly and completely. Let that love breed more love. Your mom thinks you’re awesome enough to give a gift to; accept it. And then remember how awesome you are. What a gift.”
Reminds me of these words:
This is love: not that we loved God, but that God loved us and gave his son for us…