Jessica Latshaw

musician. writer. dancer.

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on buying a gift with your boyfriend. Er–my boyfriend.

Posted By on March 3, 2013 in Funny Stuff, Loved Ones | 4 comments

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking for a birthday gift for his little cousin, who turned seven.

“Got it,” my boyfriend told me, handing me a flashlight.

A flashlight.

There was nothing fancy about it, either. No brightly colored cartoons festooning the handle. It wasn’t even very handy–I mean, it was just a flashlight. It didn’t go all transformer on you and turn into a shovel, too.

“You can’t just give a seven year old boy a flashlight. It’s boring,” I told him.

“Sure you can; it helps you find things in the dark; that’s exciting.”

“No–it’s practical. Painfully so.”

“You don’t know,” he explained,” You’re not a boy.”

“I have a lot of nephews,” I reminded him, “We HAVE to get him something else.”

So we continued wandering the aisles of the store.

“Candy?” I suggested. “Like, a whole bucket full of candy?”

“I don’t want to encourage that kind of behavior.”

Coming up with another idea, I asked, “How about sidewalk chalk? There are tons of sidewalks here in the city!”

“Do you want the kid to get kidnapped?”

Then I gave up. Well, a little, anyway. After my boyfriend settled on an angry birds folder and a quite awesome book full of pictures of dogs swimming underwater–in addition to the aforementioned flashlight–I managed to slip a five dollar bill into the kid’s birthday card.

I mean, everyone likes money.

And you don’t have to be a boy or a girl to know that, really.

You just need to be a kid who is highly motivated to buy a toy to compensate for the flashlight he unwrapped on his birthday.

When we talked about it later, my boyfriend still maintained that a flashlight is a great gift. “But he didn’t seem to really care about it when he opened it,” he admitted.

I didn’t say a word.

(I just wrote a blog post)


  1. Pop March 3, 2013

    Keep us posted on the outcome-to see who was right about the flashlight!

    • jessica March 4, 2013

      well, I’ll be darned, but we heard from TJ’s uncle today that his little cousin does, in fact, LOVE flashlights! haha he was right! And he was pretty happy about it, too:)

  2. FamousJensterr March 9, 2013

    HAHA! TJ is a trip! This is great! lol
    You two are adorable!

  3. Maximo Cribari April 6, 2013

    The best exceptional birthday presents come from a genuine heart. If you’re set on giving a 65th birthday gift that won’t fail to inspire a special person, write your feelings and convey them into a song. You may choose to look for the aid of buddies and relatives that are capable enough to guide you on this endeavor. Turn it into a collective effort, and reveal to your special someone how much his or her being part of your life has motivated you. You may convert it into a moving music, and even a soothing, emotional song. Undeniably, there is no better means by which to convey how you treasure someone than combining words and emotions to music..

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