Jessica Latshaw

musician. writer. dancer.

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When we are not the same.

Posted By on December 19, 2012 in I Lift My Eyes Up, Thoughts and Feelings | 1 comment

Sometimes I don’t quite know what to write because, see, I’m happy.

Period.

And now, life is not one homogeneous shade of glee, trust me; but lately, I haven’t had to dig too deep to feel joy. It’s been readily available, actually. And I’m grateful.

But I also realize that there are many people who don’t feel this way. Friends of mine who don’t feel this way. Parts of this country who are grieving in a manner that is not natural; parents burying children and gifts under the tree that will remain unopened forever.

So what do you do? Well, when I hang out with different friends, I listen to them. We talk about their life; we talk about my life. We rejoice with each other and we cry with each other. We don’t judge one life as better than another–or even a feeling as better then another, for each feeling holds value and weight–but we accept and we embrace what is healthy and that which will grow us; conversely, we shy away from the bitterness that can come with sadness or the laziness that can come with contentment and happiness.

I remember when I was in my dark night of the soul, so to speak. One friend, in particular, was so cognizant of my situation, that he wouldn’t even wish me a good night when saying good bye. “There’s nothing good about this night for you,” he said,”so why would I torture you with those words?”

And I appreciated his sensitivity. I also knew he was going home to a beautiful and kind wife with a home full of children. I understood that he could be both happy in his situation and compassionate to me in mine.

And I guess that’s a big part of living. Learning to be present and true to what we’re feeling while still connecting to the people around us; people who are more than likely not feeling however it is we are feeling.

I know, however, that no matter how you are feeling superficially, we can all use more peace. More grace. More courage and wisdom as we’re presented with choices every day.

May that abound to all of us.

No matter how we’re feeling.

1 Comment

  1. peaj December 21, 2012

    I am so glad that you are well. So glad that life holds promise and joy for you. So glad that you survived to see this day that I knew and hoped that you would return to.

    And you know – it would be okay if life was one homogeneous shade of glee. Sometimes I feel like I would like to meet someone who is truly living an uncompromisingly astounding life who can tell the rest of us how also to do it.

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