He used to call me his broadway baby and I didn’t like the way that sounded. Because the alliteration annoyed me and also, I was only doing a Broadway tour, mind you, and I didn’t want to pretend otherwise.
He wrote me a half of a song once. Half of a song. That about sums it up because he never did finish it. Also, the words “broadway baby” were in the chorus. I would suggest a change, something that sounded a little less cliche, perhaps, but it was his song. Or rather, his half of a song.
He recently told me that he found a box of cards that people had written to me, stashed away in some corner of the house he still lives in. He asked me if I wanted those cards. I remembered that I am me, that I love words, that a card is a special and dear thing, so I said, “Um, yeah.” And then he told me that he would make sure there were no cards in the box from him. There was a pause in the conversation then, with that last phrase, “cards…from him…” hanging in the air between us. “I know I wasn’t very good at giving you cards,” he finally said. And then I laughed. I burst out into laughter like he was Jim Gaffigan, a standup comic that actually makes me laugh, because not many do.
And he listened to my laughter and amended his remark to, “I know I wasn’t very good at giving you cards, among other things.”
And all I could do was agree.
Because no, he wasn’t very good at giving me cards, but that is maybe close to the bottom of a very long list of things he wasn’t very good at when it came to me.
And he never did finish that song.
And now I no longer want him to.
Hoooooot Pockets.
yes!
hooooooot pockets, indeed.
(what does that mean, again?)
Well, when I look at it again, it looks like “Hoot pockets.” Which is not the joke at all, but Jim Gaffigan has a very funny “Hot Pockets” bit. Have you not seen it? He’s brilliant. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nu-dLUJzsW8
ohhhhh!
hahahahahahahahahahaha.
yes, HOT POCKETS!!!
got it now.
and yes, I love that bit.
CALIENTE POCKETS!
Hahaha.
“You have a gift, my friend.”
lol, peaj.
It’s pretty breathtaking how much better off you are.
I can hardly explain how grateful I am, but I will certainly try.
over and over again, I will try.
sooo true what Jason said….
jase has a way of seeing truth.
and then writing it down.
he should maybe be a writer or something.
naw, that’s crazy…;-)
Jim Gaffigan=funny. “I mean, that was good, but not as good as your ‘By Mennen.’”
hahahaha love it.
I am laughing so hard that I started crying actual tears, and then my eyes started burning, so the laughing stopped… anyway. hot pockets. I love it.
oh eye-burning laughter is always a good place to draw the line…and emily, had you heard jim gaffigan before?
You’re worth a whole song. Even two.
(smiles)
and thanks.