My computer kept telling me that it didn’t have room for much of anything else, whenever I tried to download something or even save what I was writing.
So I looked for things that I could delete, just like my little mac suggested. And I came upon some big file that simply said: drew. Perfect, I thought. So I dragged it over to the trash can in the bottom right hand corner of my screen and threw it away. Appropriately, I may add. And then I emptied the trash and I have to say that I made sure the volume was turned all the way up because that crunching sound it makes is quite satisfying for some reason.
And now, I am proud to say, I can once again download things and save my writing. I just hope that there wasn’t anything important in that file. I suppose I should have looked before getting rid of it, but I haven’t noticed anything missing, so I am just gonna assume that it’s all gonna be okay.
That’s basically how I try to live my life, I guess. Assuming the best. And then when the worst comes, dealing with it accordingly. Not that the worst comes much, you know. And the nice thing is that once it’s over, you can count on the fact that at least that can never happen again.
Tonight I was reading through old texts on my phone. I mean, really old. Like another lifetime old. And I came across the last few texts I wrote to Drew before I found out the truth and I felt sorry for that girl who had written them. I knew what she was going to go through, but she still didn’t. And then I realized that I am that girl who had written them and I didn’t need to feel so sorry for her because, look–I am okay.
And no, it doesn’t make a ton of sense, but actually there are times when I even feel a great sense of peace and joy. But still, reading through those texts was weird. It was like looking through pictures of someone who has since passed away. Except that I don’t miss whatever it is that has died.
Not once I realized what it really was.
And at the risk of sounding like a broken record (or maybe just a really cool remix), I am going to say it again: I am grateful.
When you come out here we really need to sell your Air and get a macbook so you have more storage space.
this is a true story.
I am grateful, too, Jess. So much of my gratefulness has to do with the fact, though, that you have worked really hard to stay focused on the positive, on God, on a good future, on forgiving, on the way forward rather than getting caught in what terrible things have been done to you. I am grateful for you.
well I am grateful for you:)
I concur with what your Mom said!!!
Love you!!!
thank you:) and love you too!
i agree with your mom, so much…you are an inspiration in so many ways!!!!!!!
you are so very kind and so very inspiring to me, you know…:)
I like the part about having confident hope for your earlier self and not needing to feel so sorry for her. Something… peaceful about that.
I was going to suggest that you merely upgrade your MacBook Air’s hard drive for more storage. However, I looked around at some of the tutorials online and… yeah. Leave that nonsense for the professionals. Maybe you can archive some stuff to DVD?
Peaj, you know I’m an apple fan, but the air is a frustrating product and I don’t think even the pros can upgrade the hard drive. It’s specialized or something.
It’s really sad because I don’t know a whole lot what I am doing in terms of the computer department of life. In fact, I can remember feeling really overwhelmed by that–on top of everything else–when Drew left. I remember texting him, asking what I should do about something with my computer cause he had always been the one to take care of it before, and he just said: Get Jase to help you.
And that was enough. Jase has been really nice to help me since then–and so has Christian, from time to time. And I’m also learning on my own and finding out that I can do stuff too.
Gratitude=great attitude…and you have it, Jess!