We were hiking today, when suddenly my mom yelled out, Look! A guitar in a tree!
And with visions of a full-size guitar stuck in the branches of a tree, much to some hippie’s chagrin, I walked over to see what it was that had gotten her so excited.
Oh, and perfect.
A guitar in a tree, just like she said.
Somehow the bark had peeled like that, I guess. Or maybe God just wanted to remind me how important he thinks music is, too. Or maybe the tree was like, Whatever. You’re not the only one who has a tiny guitar, so stop acting like it.
But, whichever the case, I loved it.
And then tonight we played at Lickety Split on South Street in Philly. And well, the nice part is that we actually made some money. Yep, we got some frozen yogurt with some of it afterwards. And there we were, eating yogurt and sitting on the curbside of South Street with our guitars and one random microphone stand spread around us like the world’s worst fortress when a lady came up and asked us, Are you homeless?
After assuring her that we were not, she was like, Oh, well I am. You wanna give me money? And we asked if she was hungry and she said she was, so we asked if we could get her some food instead.
We found out her name was Stella on the way to the mini-mart and I told her again that we would definitely be the one paying for the food, because she seemed to be afraid we’d try to stick her with the bill and run. Though have you seen people run with two guitars, a ukulele, a microphone stand, and a few cables? Because even if they are running, they are probably not doing it very fast.
When we got to the mini-mart Stella wanted popcorn, but Shane told her that it wouldn’t fill her up for very long and so suggested peanut butter. At which point she looked at him like he had just suggested she try that can of air that was for sale over there on the shelf, she was so outraged at his idea. What do I have to eat with the peanut butter?? she asked irately. So I steered the subject to safer things like peanut butter crackers and hey look, here’s a granola bar, my favorite is honey and oats, do you like that kind, too? She seemed to think she did, so we made the purchase, handed her the peanut butter crackers (duh, shane) and granola bar, proceeded to sing a song for the owner of the mini-mart, and then were on our way.
And then when I got home I found a message in my inbox, asking us to come back and play at Lickety Split again in May. This is good news, indeed. The funny part, though, is that it was addressed to our band:
The Paper Shanes
So way to go, Shane. I’m super proud of you. I hope your band is a huge success and I guess I’ll always get to say I knew you when.
Though between The Lady Papers and The Paper Shanes, I gotta say the latter is still way better than the former.
That is a great in-the-city kind of moment. I mean, you can’t make up dialogue like that! I am glad you bought her some peanut butter crackers and not just a jar of peanut butter…
And who knew your band name would be such a challenge for everyone?
yeah, I know–it’s funny to hear all the variations on it that people come up with! and shane told me later that he was thinking just peanut butter because he had noticed she had no front teeth…which actually was a good idea and I hope she could handle the crackers and granola bar okay…
I love just peanut butter. What’s that lady’s problem?
I think she said that’s she’s homeless.
Oh snap! Jase, he gotcha.
well you see, i didn’t want to get her crackers, cause she didn’t have front teeth! i thought peanut butter would be perfect, but apparently i am a crazy.
Which is something you coulda mentioned before I got her the crackers…;)
Seriously, it’s a good name, and it’s not particularly confusing!
and making money is a really good thing, for sure. Someday, Dan and I will get ourselves a babysitter and come to hear you play. Seriously.
Emily, I would love that! and thanks–we like the name too
Looks to me like someone carved that little guitar into the tree, like they do hearts and initials? Maybe not…
I LOL’ed (see, aren’t I so techie!) with The Paper Shanes. Hilarious.
Isn’t it odd how some homeless people have very definite tastes when it comes of what food they want bought for them? She may be poor but not poor enough to eat just peanut butter!!!!
Actually, the bark just DID that–which is maybe even cooler!
and haha–glad to make you LOL (and good job on the text-speak!)
Pop do you think it means “Lots of Love” like mom used to?
I know! That was hilarious–I can just see mom being like, hope you’re doing better after your operation, LOL…
No way. I M insulted.
Ha Ha. Paper Shanes!
mom, thanks so much for coming out last night to philly and seeing those Paper Shanes!
LOL, they can’t get your name right in the beginning, but they will be chanting the correct name in the end! Trust me. I’m reading a book by Deepak Chopra, and the chapter is all about signs giving by the universe. I believe that little guitar in the tree is positively a sign for you JESS!
and I will take that sign, for sure! miss ya, JR
You are the only friend I have who is cool enough to have sang for a mini-mart owner.
haha thanks, but blame that one on Shane–I’m pretty sure it was his idea!
Well, it is the Paper Shanes after all.
You have a very good point there, Hornbuckle.
Yeah, I find it hilarious that you just kind of toss that in there – “oh, yeah, you know, while we’re there we just kinda tossed off this song, no big deal…”
Well, maybe not hilarious. Pretty amusing, though.
If I can’t be hilarious, I at least aim for pretty amusing, so I’m glad:)
When I read the name “The Lady Papers” it makes me think of secret documents that provide evidence of some conspiracy involving British nobility. Soon to be a major motion picture starring Tom Hanks. Screenplay by Jason WhatsHisName.
Or perhaps it is all the information that men have been wondering since the dawn of time. OR it is the ID required to prove that you are, in fact, a lady. You know, you have to show them at the door at the bars when they are holding the ‘ladies nights’ and women drink for free.
In some dystopian future the ID is used by a misandropic society to discriminate against half of its citizens, until a chimera takes on the status quo…
Sorry, still in this blockbuster-movie-idea mood.
Or maybe The Lady Papers talks about some stationery that is, in fact, female. Like for a children’s book.
How have we not discussed the fact that this person thought you two were homeless?
and that we apparently used our last bit of money to buy frozen yogurt at 11 at night??
You two are shady like that.
i think you should just be the paper planes.
Or the paper airplanes!
Or the Plaper Airpanes!
ha!
I am so looking forward to purchasing your cds! I envision myself at FYE, or some such place, looking for your latest, and hearing people talk about how great you are…and I will proudly say, “Oh, the Sharper Panes, they are both friends of mine!!”
hahahaha–well whatever our name may be–I sure do like the idea of you being our friend and buying our cd!